(1) I am piss-ass drunk off a Long Island iced tea and a half-shot of whiskey.
(2) I accidentally sent a dirty text to the wrong guy (the 26-year-old midwestern boy instead of Hot Marine).
(3) I got my earrings back from Bachelor #3.
All in all, a good night. : )
Wow, did I have one hell of a conversation with my boss today. Remember how my boss and I have been having these little incidents lately? Well, today was the mother of all incidents. Holy shit. My heart is still pounding out of my chest almost 12 hours later.
I won't go into the specifics, but here's the deal: I've observed over the last few months (as we've all been working very hard to crank out a bunch of deliverables for a critical upcoming deadline) that my boss has a tendency to massage the data to get the conclusion that he's already promised the client. Now, as an educated professional with a scientific background, I find this to be unethical. And, as a professional, I have been feeling very uncomfortable with this seemingly unethical behavior, particularly regarding projects that I've been busting my ass on. Last Friday, I observed first-hand the latest iteration of my boss's behavior, and I have been rather upset about it ever since. As of Friday, I decided to withdraw from that portion of the project because I no longer felt comfortable standing behind it, not to mention putting my name on it.
Continue reading "It's official: the shit has hit the fan" »
Well, if you thought my porn-tastic, headboard-breaking primal sex with Bachelor #3 the other night was good, go read this. Seriously, I'll wait, go read it. Apparently Lance had some fucking AMAZING sex over the weekend that is, if I dare say it, the most delicious marathon fuck-fest I've heard about in a while. Kudos, Lance. Hope your dick is recovering. : )
Now, my dear readers, THAT is what I call a fantastic fuck. Let's examine the evidence, plot the data, run our empirical models, and draw our conclusions in a dorky scientific manner, as usual:
Picture it: It's Sunday night. The weekend is almost over. It's been two weeks since my oral extravaganza. It's been four weeks since the last time I had sex (twice). I'm horny as hell. Call to the new male prospect: he lives too far away, and it's too late in the evening already. Call to Hot Marine: he would love to get together, but he's fighting a nasty cold (so he says). A quick flip through my mental rolodex comes up with only one other feasible option: Bachelor #3. But wait... should I really contact him? After all, we haven't had any contact since we stopped trying to actually date each other, and there was no "well this isn't working, best of luck" conversation, so it would be a little awkward. I'd have to phrase it just right. What to say, what to say... I decide on simple and to the point, avoiding any unnecessary awkward conversations. I text him around 9:00 pm:
DD: hey - wanna fuck tonight?
B#3: sure
DD: my place or yours?
B#3: mine
DD: be there by 10:30
B#3: great
And with that, let the dry spell officially come to a glorious, porn-tastic end.
Continue reading "Sex, porn, and I left my earrings on his nightstand" »
This dry spell is total bullshit. I'm headed over to Bachelor #3's place for a casual fuck.
Edited to add: Mmmmmmmm... I feel SO much better. Dirty details tomorrow. : )
Holy shit, holy shit, holy SHIT.
I feel like I just got kicked in the stomach, like it came out of nowhere when I was least expecting it. Like something that I try to push back into the extreme depths of my subconscious has just plummeted its way back to the forefront of my mind, to the pit of my stomach, to the hairs standing up on the back of my neck. I don't know what to do. I guess I'm in a state of shock or something. Holy shit.
I just had a conversation with my five-year ex's old college roommate (our mutual friend), and, for the first time EVER (in the almost three years since we broke up), I talked to one of my ex's friends about the breakup. I got a little bit of his side of the story. I can't believe we were actually talking about it. He brought it up - not me. I had no intention of bringing it up. But he mentioned my ex, and then we started talking about it, and then there it was, all out in the open for us to analyze, and all the while my stomach was in knots and my eyes were glued to the IM screen (fucking IM, I never should have signed on) and my heart was pounding out of my chest. Does he keep in touch with my old BF? What is he up to these days? What did he say about me after the breakup? How did he handle it? I didn't dare to ask the question that I'm really dying to know... is he married now? A part of me is absolutely aching to know, and a part of me would rather die than know the answer to that. God, I'm fucking having a nervous breakdown right now. I can't believe I was talking to him about it. I can't believe that after almost three years, that breakup is still as fresh as it ever was. All the old wounds have just been torn back open, and it fucking hurts. I'll never fully get over him, will I?
For those interested, the IM conversation is below:
Work this week has been crazy - AGAIN - so I'm sorry for the relative lack of interesting material around here these days. Oh, if only I could just ditch my dorky job and have all the free time in the world... : ) Anyway, I just wanted to drop in for a quick report from the dating front: The 26-year-old midwestern boy and I have still been emailing back and forth, and in a very bold move (ha), he came out with this the other night: "I hope I'm not being too forward here, but do you have AIM or some other messaging service?" Aww, how cute, he's being all coy and polite and wants to chat over IM, which is a step I always skip in favor of just handing out my cell number and seducing men in my apartment. Is it because he's young and maybe not as confident as the older guys I usually go for? Is he really just a polite midwestern boy who doesn't realize what kind of New York girl he's dealing with? Am I just being slutty by always going straight for the cock? [Well, yes, of course. : )] But anyway, this should be interesting. What do kids chat about over IM anyway? I haven't done this since college. Wish me luck.
I'm exhausted. Completely wiped out - physically, mentally, emotionally. Work has been crazy, and tonight I played tennis in the hot sun, and my body is about to give up. I don't remember being this tired in a while - at least in the last few months. So I'm off to bed early tonight, to collapse and get some rest and let my body catch up. And let all the craziness from the past few days at work drift out of my mind and into the abyss where it belongs.
And as I'm drifting off to sleep tonight, there will be one thing on my mind - cock. I'm going through withdrawal over here! Remember my oral extravaganza with the new male prospect a while back? Well, I haven't been able to get the vision of his cock out of my head all day. I see that thick, gorgeous dick right in front of my hungry lips, I can feel the smoothness of the head against my tongue, and I can taste the pre-cum dripping out that oh-so-eager cock that drives me absolutely insane. What I would give to be sucking that cock tonight! Oh, if he only knew...
So please, if you have the pleasure of sucking a gorgeous cock tonight, please give it an extra lick for me. Cherish it for the magnificent opus that it is. And for God's sake, ask him if he has a single friend in New York. : )
Well shit, apparently I'm not the only one going through a dry spell, and apparently mine isn't really that long after all. What, I'm being a baby about it? Really??? : ) So people, let's all go forth and GET LAID already. God knows we could all use it. And for those of us actually getting laid on a regular basis, please throw us a bone and share some dirty little details, will ya? I could use a supplement to my internet porn. Hell, I could use pretty much anything other than internet porn these days. Where's that Skinemax when you need it? : )
Just to clarify something about Hot Marine: Yes, I know he's an arrogant little fucker who's not even worthy of fuck-buddy status these days. I know this. He's made it abundantly clear. And I've been a very good girl by staying away (for the most part) these days, waiting (very impatiently) for him to contact me. But you know what? If he pops up in my inbox one of these days, you all KNOW I'm going to crawl right back to him. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: he has this magical power over me that I can't explain. I know it's horrible, but at least I'm not in denial. That boy is HOT, and when those beautiful blue eyes gaze into mine, I totally melt. I may be pathetic, but I may also get LAID. : )
(1) Spend the afternoon with your new bikini and the self-timer on your digital camera. : ) Thank you all for your wonderfully kind comments - I'm blushing over here, really. I'm so glad the photos went over so well. I tend to ramble on and on sometimes, so every once in a while I like to come up with a little treat. So glad you enjoyed it! : )
(2) Trim off some of that excess baby fat. People, are you sitting down for this one? Brace yourselves, I have big news: despite my not wanting to believe that exercise was really the key to fitting back into my skinny jeans, it is actually WORKING. I know, right? Who knew? I've been playing tennis about twice a week and jogging almost every day, and shockingly, I am seeing a difference. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own two eyes. Note to self: getting off your lazy ass is a good thing. LOL.
(3) Get hit on my an endless stream of 40-year-old men. Oh, how I love the dumpster. Apparently (this time around, anyway) it is full of creepy old men looking for "a nice young lady" to cheat on their wives with. I swear, I don't know what it is about me, but I cannot seem to attract any guys my own age. What the fuck??? Listen, I have nothing against 40 (and 50!) year-old men, but honestly, I don't want to date them. Is that so bad? So please, if you're old enough to be my daddy (and not in the fun way), I say unto you: thanks, but no thanks. Now get lost!
